Best Man Speech - Assassination of the Grooms Character :: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches

Best Man Speech - Assassination of the Groom's Character Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I am going to keep this speech fairly short because of my throat; the bride said that if I made fun of the groom too much she would cut it. Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for those kind words and gifts. As I'm sure you will all agree, they all look absolutely beautiful and have carried out their role splendidly, so I think a round of applause for the bridesmaids is definitely in order. Just before I start the groom's character assassination, the bride was telling me earlier in the day that her pharmacy was broken into last week. The thief apparently stole ten boxes of condoms and ten boxes of viagra. The police are now looking for a hardened criminal. Next day a woman walks into the shop and asks her for some bottom deodorant, puzzled she replies, "I'm sorry we don't sell such a thing, "I beg your pardon" says the woman. â€Å"I buy it from here all the time.† "Do you have the empty container from the last time." enquires the bride. "Yes I do†, says the woman and she walks out to her car, then comes back in with an empty deodorant stick. "This isn't a bottom deodorant madam, it’s just a normal deodorant stick." The woman snatches it out of her hands and reads aloud. "To apply take off lid and push up bottom.† The groom was born in 1975, a year when the Khmer Rouge invaded Cambodia and Saigon surrendered to the North Vietnamese. So it’s true what they say, these things always happen in threes. He went to St. Serfs school were he was a rather quiet pupil, until of course, as anyone who knows him, he stepped onto the soccer pitch. He shunned the roll of forward for the more unorthodox "bare knuckle boxer† and "chief shin kicker† role, it was novelty for him to be on the pitch a whole ninety minutes, never mind score goals. He then went on to play for Prestonfield Boys Club and then Napier University football team. Sadly this was to be the end of his sporting career, as this was when he discovered alcohol and women. After school the groom worked in a Saturday job at Homebase. I spoke to an old work colleague who was only too happy to tell me of his time there.

John Locke”S Social Contract Theory Essay

This paper analyzes the social contract theory of John Locke and how his values are consistent with the criminal justice system and private security settings of today. It will further discuss whether or not Locke’s’ values and principles apply to both criminal justice and private security venues. I will also summarize the major differences of the social contract theories; identify the key principles associated with Locke’s social contract theory; identify how these principles are inculcated in the U. S. Bill of Rights; identify how these principles play out in the criminal justice system and security settings of today and finally describe freedom in relationship to personal rights and ethical standards and obligations. To begin with, Locke’s theory is one in which he felt that man should have individual freedom and rights, which for all intense purposes equates to what democracy is in modern times. He believed in the concept of individual freedoms and government, also known as liberalism. He had a great respect for man’s moral judgment and thought that men were all â€Å"pleasant chaps†. Locke’s’ ideals were that of a capitalist mentality, and exercised perfect freedom in relation to fulfilling financial interests. He believed in an orderly society in which we should leave the state of affairs in every man’s hands within that orderly society. And last but certainly not least, he believed in separation of powers and in the system of checks and balances. How is liberalism in the criminal justice system today? We are very fortunate to live in a time where we can exercise our own individual thoughts. As I Iook at the criminal justice system of today, I believe that our right to have freedom of speech goes a long way in helping to make decisions based on who we should follow and what we feel is right and wrong. In order to see the major differences of the social contract theories, we must take a look at the major theories as a whole. Well to begin with, Hobbes believed in the absolute power of kings. He also believed in the â€Å"state of nature† which said that all individuals were naturally equal. He thought that they should do whatever they needed to do to survive. As a result, everyone suffered from continued fear and danger of violent death; and the life of man was solidary; poor; nasty; poor; brutish, and short. He believed that the government was a leviathan that would swallow up the people. His government was headed by the king and that king was better than a group. He warned against the church meddling in the king’s affairs and felt that the king was more powerful than God. He felt that the people should obey the king or choose to die. The other schools of thought came from what are called the enlightenment group which is comprised of Locke, Rousseau, and Montesquieu. They wanted to improve human conditions on earth. They generally valued natural rights as well as reason, religious tolerance, and science. We’ll begin with Locke. Locke agreed with Hobbs about the state of brutality and the natural law, but disagreed with other points. First, he felt that man by nature was a social animal. He believed that the natural right of an individual could never be taken away or even voluntarily given away. In the state of nature, men mostly kept their promises and honored their obligations, and though insecure, they were mostly peaceful, good, and pleasant. According to Locke, the natural rights of individuals limited the power of the king thus he did not have absolute power as Hobbes said, but acted only to enforce and protect the natural rights of the people. Although Locke spoke out for freedom of thought, speech and religion, he believed property to be the most important natural right. Rousseau felt that man was essentially good – â€Å"a noble savage† in the state of nature. This goes back to when there were mainly animals roaming around and the condition of man was uncivilized. Once societal standards came along, he felt that man became unhappy because society was artificial and corrupt. He felt that furthering society would be the cause of more unhappiness. He believed that the advancement of the arts and sciences did not benefit mankind. On the other hand, progress of knowledge made government more powerful and crushed individual liberty. He felt that the material progress had actually undermined the possibility of sincere friendship, replacing it with jealousy, fear and suspicion. He felt that we could secure freedom regardless of the will of the majority. In some respects he agreed with Locke, but he also felt that the community should be in charge. He was an idealistic thinker who derived the â€Å"We the People† in the constitution. He felt that religion divided and weakened the state. Montesquieu believed that all things were made up of rules and laws that never changed. He believed that there were three types of government: monarchy, ruled by a king, a republic, ruled by an elected leader and a despotism, ruled by a dictator. Of these, he believed that a government elected by the people was the best form of government. Along this line, he believed that the success of a democracy (a government in which the people have the power) depended upon maintaining the right balance of power. He further believed that all people were not equal and he approved of slavery. He felt that women were the weaker sex and should obey their husbands but also felt that women had the ability to function in government feeling that they had a calm gentleness that were helpful qualities in the decision making processes in government. Thomas Hobbes (1651), John Locke (1689), and Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1762) are the most famous social contract thinkers. Each drew quite different conclusions about the nature of political authority. Hobbes advocated absolute monarchy, Locke advocated natural rights, and Rousseau advocated collective sovereignty in the name of the general will. The Lockean concept of the social contract was invoked in the United States Declaration of Independence, which clearly states, â€Å"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, – That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Governed†¦. â€Å",. The key principles associated with Locke’s theory are that in their natural state humans are drawn to doing good over evil; that they naturally know right from wrong, and that naturally humans prefer peace over chaos. His views are justly stated as (1) that all men are created equal; (2) that our rights are given divinely by our creator; (3) that government exists to secure and protect those rights, and (4) government exists by the consent of the governed, namely you and I. These principles play out with relation to the criminal justice system and private security setting of today by attempting to maintain peace and justice over chaos, and by helping society to live in its natural state. It is also within our realm to be fair and just with our response to crimes. One such specification is that we should be swift, balanced and just in our reaction to crimes and criminal behavior. Along these lines, it is essentially important that, for example, we decide on an appropriate punishment for the exercise of a capital punishment such as murder and rape. Locke set forth the view that the state exists to preserve the natural rights of its citizens. When governments fail in that task, citizens have the right and sometimes the duty to withdraw their support and even to rebel. Locke’s social contract theory inculcated in The U. S. Bill of Rights by his argument that governments, by virtue of the ‘social contract,’ are responsible for protecting the natural rights (life, liberty, and ownership of property) of citizens and he was in favor of participation of the people in government affairs, and their input is clearly embedded in the Declaration of Independence of 1776. We know that the Bill of Rights stipulated freedom of speech and prohibited cruel and unusual punishment. And finally freedom in relationship to personal rights and ethical standards and obligations has to do with our long list of personal freedoms and the ability to carry them out. We have the right to speak, to go where and when we want; we can go to work; go to church, we have the right to worship a God of our choosing; and we have the right to pursue happiness as stated in the U. S. Constitution. References Wikipedia: Thomas Hobbs Wikipedia: John Locke Wikipedia: Charles Montesquieu Wikipedia: Jean-Jacques Rousseau www. billofrightsinstitute. org www. lampstandfoundation,org/criminaljusticeprinciples www. rjgeib. com/thoughts/montesqui.

Condoms vs Abstinence for Public School Children Essay

Rush Limbaugh’s article, â€Å"Condoms: The New Diploma,† berates the common practice of distributing condoms to school children. The iconic conservative talk show host, who is blessed with â€Å"talent on loan from God,† uses forceful, colloquial arguments and analogies to warn against the messages and possible dire consequences that public school condom distribution can impart on America’s children. He confidently and stridently argues that condom distribution in the schools is a dangerous, immoral policy that tends to minimize or ignore the many possible negative effects of sex. Whether a school-age child wears a condom or not, Limbaugh states that the child is potentially exposing himself and his partner to AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy. Rush’s arguments are sound and persuasive but some of his analogies are far-fetched and extreme, and his righteous tone and attitude may be annoying to those who disagree with him. Limbaugh passionately states his arguments using simple words, messages and analogies. His central premise, that â€Å"abstinence works every time it is tried,† is an irrefutable fact. That is, when a person engages in sexual abstinence she is certain to avoid the negative possible consequences of sex which include pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases including the deadly AIDS virus. On the other hand, Limbaugh minimizes the fact that many school children are going to engage in sexual activities regardless of what they are taught and regardless of whether they have easy access to condoms. Limbaugh attacks what he sees as the absurd policy of using public tax dollars to purchase and distribute condoms in public schools. To demonstrate that absurdity, he uses some extreme analogies that are far-fetched and absurd themselves. These plain-spoken, simplistic analogies include providing â€Å"safe, untainted drugs every morning in home room,† and â€Å"packs of low-tar cigarettes to the students for their after-sex smoke. † He goes farther to the extreme as he advocates that public schools should â€Å"convert study halls to Safe Sex Centers,† and that these schools should also â€Å"put disease-free hookers† in these centers. These suggestions are obviously facetious, but Mr. Limbaugh employs them to harshly illuminate and expose what he sees as the wrong-headed, immoral, dangerous policy of condom distribution within schools. He thinks that condom distribution serves to condone and legitimize sexual activity among minors just as providing free illicit drugs to children would legitimize that dangerous, immoral activity. Limbaugh hammers home his point simply and starkly when he asks, â€Å"Would you knowingly have sex with anyone who has AIDS with only a condom to protect you from getting the disease? † He believes the policy of public school condom distribution, funded by taxpayers like him, promotes and legitimizes that possibly deadly scenario for young, careless children who do not care about or comprehend the long-term consequences of their casual sexual activity. But, he fails to point out that these same careless children will be more at risk of contracting AIDS or getting pregnant if they do not use a condom during sexual intercourse. His absolute views and arguments are persuasive, but his presentation is unbalanced and he might be seen by some readers as pompous and arrogant. Whether you love him or hate him, Rush Limbaugh confidently and unapologetically conveys his conservative, moral opinions on the dangers of public school condom distribution programs. He believes that this policy is â€Å"symptomatic of the larger moral decline in our societal values,† and that â€Å"free condom distribution in public schools can be a matter of life and death. † Despite some of his extreme and ridiculous analogies, Rush persuasively and emotionally advocates that sexual abstinence is the right policy for school children and that condom distribution is simply wrong and immoral.

Challenges That May Arise When Writing a Persuasive Essay

Three challenges that might arise when writing a persuasive essay are making a plan, writing a draft, and revising your draft. While making a draft you should always consider how you can organize your ideas effectively for the readers. You can arrange your ideas and make an outline to organize your ideas effectively (Chapter 7). Doing so will allow the readers to be able to understand what point you are trying to get across without any doubt or confusion. Writing a draft can help show the readers what you mean. In your draft it should include an introduction that is catchy and that will interest your readers, have a strong and solid conclusion, and it should also have a strong solid title (Chapter 8). During the revising process of your draft you should think of ways to make your draft clearer or more convincing to the readers. This could be done by looking for ideas that don’t fit, looking for ideas that could use more detailed support, and connecting ideas with transitional words and sentences (Chapter 9). One more challenge that might arise when writing a persuasive essay is editing. Editing a paper will allow me to ask myself what errors could confuse my readers and weaken my point. This process can also help me find and correct errors in grammar (Chapters 22–33), look for errors in word use (Chapters 34–35), spelling (Chapter 36), and punctuation and capitalization (Chapters 37–41). READING: Read Chapter 3 in Real essays with readings: Writing projects for college, work, and everyday life – Writing Basics. The strategies I will use to overcome making a draft is use my time wisely. By doing this I will be able to have a set block of time to work on this and will not be able to wait until the last minute. I will also write down any ideas that pop up in my head. So I will not forget what it was and is because it could be a useful and helpful idea to use in my paper while writing it. Another strategy I could use is to make a web of ideas while planning out my paper. To overcome the challenges of writing a draft I will need to try show what I mean to the readers, come up with a strong title, come up with a strong conclusion, and come up with a catchy way to start my introduction paragraph. While I am revising my essay I will look for ideas that do not fit and find ideas that could use more detailed support if it does not have enough detailed support already. Finally I will I will look for errors that might confuse my readers and weaken my point more closely. I could also try reading it backwards to see if it will help me find errors such as grammar, errors in word use, punctuation, and if any capitalization errors.

Questions for Practitioners and Researchers Research Paper

Questions for Practitioners and Researchers - Research Paper Example The last two US secretaries of state are just examples (Jarrett and Tchen, 2012). Propose some best practices that foster leadership development at earlier periods in human development. Speculate about what might be done at the grade school and high school levels to encourage leadership in young girls In order to encourage leadership in young girls, grade schools should set up model assemblies that imitate the Congress or the UN. After that schools should offer debatable topics especially those relating to policy so that they get an experience of what it means to address matters of public exams. Classes should also be allowed to elect one male and female representative so that young girls get a chance to discover their talents in public speaking, which is an essential leadership skills. Schools can also nurture leadership by also appointing many young girls into positions of responsibility to have them get used to being on the lead (Matthews, 2009). Women in the United States are ahead of other countries in education but not in holding positions in business and government as their education achievement would suggest. Speculate about the reasons for this and propose what to do about the situation While this may be true, it does not hold to a certain extent. The real situation is that this had been the trend in the past. Currently there are women holding position in the government. The last two secretaries of state have been women and they have both done a marvelous job. The president is poised to appoint another woman Mrs. Rice as the next secretary of State. As pertains to business, probably it applies with regard to top positions. Even so, there are women holding positions in businesses. Many countries, have fewer women than men in various positions. The most probable reason for this trend comes down to social organization where women have to worry about being good mothers and good leaders (Jarrett & Tchen,

The European Economic Community Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2250 words

The European Economic Community - Essay Example This resulted in the benefits of four freedoms namely, capital, labor, products and services to the European community. In subsequent years, the movement gathered momentum, and as the policies of liberalization and globalization started having bigger impacts on the world polity, the EEC saw more relevance for it. Stated objective of formation of EEC is of course protecting the economic interests, but the region has also learnt quite a few lessons from the history as well. Germany used to be a loose confederation of independent states till 1870. On January 18, 1871, these states united under a Prussian king who had the title â€Å"Kaiser, of the German Empire†. Bismarck was the first Chancellor or Prime Minister of the unified Germany. This resulted in gradual expansion of Germany and alternation of distribution of power within Europe and a new world order (Henig, 2002). This shift is balance of power made the group of nations like Britain, Russia and France together. Gradually the imperialistic urge started crossing the borders and entered into the African region. All such events led to the two world wars and massive devastation on all sides. Therefore, formation of a common platform is also the efforts towards averting the recurrence of such wars. The stated objectives for the EEC in clude2; The common commercial policies are an important step towards safeguarding the interests of the region particularly while dealing with the outside world. After the treaty of Rome, a need was being felt to serve the interests of the customs union with a Common Customs Tariff (CCT) to deal with the third parties. Established by Article 113 [133] of the Treaty of Rome, Common Commercial Policies therefore took shape in 1961 to safeguard the common interests of the EU nations3. This effectively meant that the EU region will act as one country while

Economics Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words - 10

Economics - Essay Example Economics has been called and is known as a Social Science one that actually focuses on the subject matter that is concerned with the fair distribution, proper level production and the over all consumption of various Goods( products and services). It is estimated that the history of Economics can be divided up into three distinctive eras, the first era being named, the pre-modern era, the second era being named the early modern era, and the third and final time span being named the modern era of economics. Regardless of that though the three eras are not very important as it has been observed that the systematic theory the most advances have been made with the advent or let say the birth of the modern era. The complete amount of credit for the development in this field can be attributed as it is seen through history to the late Scholastics and to be more specific the development can be attributed to the finding and contribution, rather to the overall over done in the study of economic to the Scholastics of the 15th and 16th century Spain. Economics has been defined in many ways some say it’s the measurement of cost and production with reference to its actually consumption, some say it’s the level of production with respect to the distribution, some even say that economics generally refers to the developmental area of a country however one very specific definition that sort of does complete justice in explaining Economics is that one which calls economic that science that studies that human behavior as a relationship that occurs between the ends and the scarce means an those could have alternative uses. The word scarce here generally holds the meaning that the productivity or the availability of a certain resource is insufficient enough to fulfill the complete needs of the people. Economics has two very main stream branches those